Emergency Protocol

There's a girl at work who causes trouble for the rest of us. She doesn't do her job, frequently has public fights with her husband (who also works in the same building) and tried to take my manager to HR for bullying when he began taking disciplinary action against her. The whole situation is ridiculous but between her low cut tops and floods of tears most people avoid her.

Today she couldn't come to work because one of her cats had a fall (yes, we were confused too) and I was asked to take over her workload- literally four days worth of work that she hadn't done. By the time I came home it felt as if the work was against me. Charlie knew right away and followed what I assume to be his 'emergency protocol':

1. Make a pot of herbal tea
2. Select cream for a foot rub (my new favourite is a pistachio body butter)
3. Listen until the tea is finished or an opinion is asked for

It works every time.

Dancing in the Street

Because even though you are in the middle of a crowded city sometimes it's nice to slow dance and be those crazy people that everyone else avoids.

Being supportive until the bad haircut grows out

Most of us have seen a bad haircut or two- whether it's an extra short buzz cut that reveals lumps and scars on the scalp or a fringe that's two inches too short; sometimes it's better to wait until the hair grows back before giving your brutal opinion on a poor choice of cut.

A few weeks ago Charlie went to get his hair cut which is always an issue because he's fussy and almost always comes home to do his own version of damage control over the sink with a set of hair clippers. This time I got a call while I was on the way home from work to warn me that today's haircut was the worst yet so I expected a disaster. He knew it was bad, I knew it was bad but telling him that his head looked like a football wouldn't fix the problem and he couldn't spend two weeks wearing a hat to work while waiting for it to grow out so I lied and encouraged him to keep his hood up when going outside.

Today is the first day he looks normal again.

Stocking the fridge with her in mind

"I love to cook but my ex was a very fussy eater and would only eat Boost bars and Dr Pepper- as unhealthy as it was within a few weeks of dating if you checked my fridge there would be fresh meat and veg for me and then a shelf with a dozen 500ml bottles of Dr Pepper and a couple of Boost bars for her in case we had an impromptu sleepover or if she called round out of the blue."

Tumble dryer towel

It's freezing outside, you're soaked to the skin but as soon as you get through the door there's someone there who'll take off your wet coat, run you a bath and leave out a cosy dressing gown.

Sometimes nothing says 'I love you' more than a towel that is put through the dryer for 5 minutes so when you get out of the bath it's nice and toasty.

Candy Trail

When either of us end up in a bad mood for no real reason we always seem to do something childish and silly just to bring us out of the moment and remind us that there is no point in being sad.

We were walking home after spending an afternoon shopping and my feet were killing me. Even though we were only a few blocks away from home I had to stop. Charlie, conscious of our Häagen-Dazs purchase melting before we got back to the apartment took out a pack of Parma Violets and set one sweet down on the ground in front of me. 

‘Come on, we’re nearly home.’

I was far from amused but by the time he’d laid a trail of 10 Parma Violets that were each about a metre apart I saw the funny side (particularly as strangers were looking at Charlie as if he had a screw loose). I picked up the sweets and by the time I reached Charlie I’d forgotten all about my feet.

Showing Up at Work

Saturdays in work can be a struggle- no one really wants to be there, we’re busier than during the week and the atmosphere can be awkward often because several people won’t come in because they’re too hungover and usually just as many will come in despite being hungover. By the time everyone has had an English breakfast there is an unhealthy level of nausea and resentment, today this was amplified due to the beautiful weather which everyone wanted to be out it.

I was enjoying my lunch at the back of the offices in the sunshine when Charlie called- he had driven to my office to say ‘I love you’ in person.