Emergency Protocol

There's a girl at work who causes trouble for the rest of us. She doesn't do her job, frequently has public fights with her husband (who also works in the same building) and tried to take my manager to HR for bullying when he began taking disciplinary action against her. The whole situation is ridiculous but between her low cut tops and floods of tears most people avoid her.

Today she couldn't come to work because one of her cats had a fall (yes, we were confused too) and I was asked to take over her workload- literally four days worth of work that she hadn't done. By the time I came home it felt as if the work was against me. Charlie knew right away and followed what I assume to be his 'emergency protocol':

1. Make a pot of herbal tea
2. Select cream for a foot rub (my new favourite is a pistachio body butter)
3. Listen until the tea is finished or an opinion is asked for

It works every time.

Dancing in the Street

Because even though you are in the middle of a crowded city sometimes it's nice to slow dance and be those crazy people that everyone else avoids.

Being supportive until the bad haircut grows out

Most of us have seen a bad haircut or two- whether it's an extra short buzz cut that reveals lumps and scars on the scalp or a fringe that's two inches too short; sometimes it's better to wait until the hair grows back before giving your brutal opinion on a poor choice of cut.

A few weeks ago Charlie went to get his hair cut which is always an issue because he's fussy and almost always comes home to do his own version of damage control over the sink with a set of hair clippers. This time I got a call while I was on the way home from work to warn me that today's haircut was the worst yet so I expected a disaster. He knew it was bad, I knew it was bad but telling him that his head looked like a football wouldn't fix the problem and he couldn't spend two weeks wearing a hat to work while waiting for it to grow out so I lied and encouraged him to keep his hood up when going outside.

Today is the first day he looks normal again.

Stocking the fridge with her in mind

"I love to cook but my ex was a very fussy eater and would only eat Boost bars and Dr Pepper- as unhealthy as it was within a few weeks of dating if you checked my fridge there would be fresh meat and veg for me and then a shelf with a dozen 500ml bottles of Dr Pepper and a couple of Boost bars for her in case we had an impromptu sleepover or if she called round out of the blue."

Tumble dryer towel

It's freezing outside, you're soaked to the skin but as soon as you get through the door there's someone there who'll take off your wet coat, run you a bath and leave out a cosy dressing gown.

Sometimes nothing says 'I love you' more than a towel that is put through the dryer for 5 minutes so when you get out of the bath it's nice and toasty.

Candy Trail

When either of us end up in a bad mood for no real reason we always seem to do something childish and silly just to bring us out of the moment and remind us that there is no point in being sad.

We were walking home after spending an afternoon shopping and my feet were killing me. Even though we were only a few blocks away from home I had to stop. Charlie, conscious of our Häagen-Dazs purchase melting before we got back to the apartment took out a pack of Parma Violets and set one sweet down on the ground in front of me. 

‘Come on, we’re nearly home.’

I was far from amused but by the time he’d laid a trail of 10 Parma Violets that were each about a metre apart I saw the funny side (particularly as strangers were looking at Charlie as if he had a screw loose). I picked up the sweets and by the time I reached Charlie I’d forgotten all about my feet.

Showing Up at Work

Saturdays in work can be a struggle- no one really wants to be there, we’re busier than during the week and the atmosphere can be awkward often because several people won’t come in because they’re too hungover and usually just as many will come in despite being hungover. By the time everyone has had an English breakfast there is an unhealthy level of nausea and resentment, today this was amplified due to the beautiful weather which everyone wanted to be out it.

I was enjoying my lunch at the back of the offices in the sunshine when Charlie called- he had driven to my office to say ‘I love you’ in person.

Stranded

I did a stupid thing today. After buying an early birthday present for Charlie last night I forgot to put my bank card back in my wallet. The result? I ended up stranded when my lift home went AWOL.

My solution was to stay in work until my lift showed up or until I came up with a better solution. After half an hour, no closer to a solution, Charlie's dad showed up. His parents live 10 minutes away and Charlie let them know what happened. Charlie knew that, while I didn't want to ask his parents for a favour, they would be more than happy to help.

Within 15 minutes I was on my way home.

Unplanned dinners

Every few weeks, for no particular reason, I'll pick up a few steaks and a bottle of whisky because I know it'll make Charlie happy and seeing his smile means it's money well spent.

Sleepy Toast

Hunger and lethargy are a terrible combination.

I was slightly intoxicated and very demanding but Charlie was kind enough to bring me exactly what I was craving and asking only 'one slice or two?'. He returned with a few gherkins while to eat while I was waiting and later produced a feast of wholemeal seeded bread with small chunk Branston pickle and mature Cheddar. Best of all, it was spread to the very edge of the bread- he doesn't do it for himself but he does it for me. That's love.

Cuddles and Sleep

Charlie gets migraines, fortunately they tend to wear off within 12 hours. Sometimes the best thing to do is put him to bed, turn off the lights and make sure he's as comfortable as possible. Tonight, the best thing was to make a light dinner and cuddle him as he was falling asleep.

Toothpaste

About 16 hours into working a triple shift with my boss last year he started ranting about people who squeeze toothpaste from the middle. I'd like to think it was the sugar, caffeine and lack of sleep that drove him to spend 10 minutes having a ran about 'those people'. Once he calmed down I admitted that I squeeze the toothpaste from the middle.

He rationalized that because Charlie and I have separate toothpastes that I was only hurting myself.

This morning, feeling groggy and reaching for my tube, which is down to the last third so some serious middle squeezing is needed for a payout, I was pleasantly surprised to find a plump tube after Charlie had rolled up the bottom for me.

Love is fixing things that don't affect you.

Lucky Charms

Charlie always makes me breakfast on a Sunday. He's away for the weekend and my morning plans included coffee and Criminal Minds. It made me ridiculously happy when I opened the cupboard to find a little pot of Lucky Charms and an 'I love you' note stashed for my breakfast.

Do the coffee run

"Every Sunday when we woke up together she would follow the same routine- brush her teeth, get dressed, move her car and pick up a Starbucks being climbing back under the covers beside me.

Every Sunday I when she returned I would be woken up with a kiss and a drink- a Venti Caramel frappuccino with an extra shot in the summer or a Grande White Mocha in the winter. We broke up and I bought an espresso machine but it doesn't wake me up with a kiss."

Coffee Table

I normally get up for work at 6:30am- my commute takes an hour each way whereas Charlie works three streets away from our apartment. It's frustrating and sometimes I question my decision to live in a city where space is at a premium but I maintain the <a href="">pros</a> outweight the cons. Charlie is going away for the weekend and woke me up with a cup of coffee and a kiss.  When I followed him around the apartment like a rescue puppy he picked me up and placed me on the coffee table because he knew it would take me by surprise and make me smile.

'I love you' he said.

To Do List

Sometime I feel like a disaster- I can't walk to work without stepping in a puddle, my default reaction to returning home involves hanging my coat and bag on the floor and if I wear white I will find something to stain it with (red wine over a new Marlies Dekkers was particularly heartbreaking).

To day I came home to find a 'To Do List' that included:
-change out of wet socks
-leave your coat above floor level
-have a snack
-get Charlie to get rid of crumbs

Hot and Sour Soup

It was one of those days that drains all the energy and fun out of you. We were due to meet some of our mutual friends for dinner and the prospect of anything other than Grey's Anatomy and a glass of wine was to much to think about let alone attempt.  I needed some time to myself.

Charlie went without me but came back with a portion of Hot and Sour soup from my favourite Chinese restaurant.

Jill the Dog

I'm a cat person but I have a soft spot for a well trained, well groomed dog.  Charlie's Rottweilers have never fitted the bill- they're spoilt, over weight and disobedient (exactly like a bratty cousin of mine). They also smell quite strongly of wet cardboard and musk. On the other end of the doggy spectrum is Jill, a Collie that smells of Pantene. She is terrified of rubber gloves, to the extent that she'll play dead as soon as she sees someone opening the cupboard under the sink and she will lift her chin to allow you to tuck her into her basket. Before I met Jill, Charlie assumed that I hated all dogs.

Now almost every time Charlie ends up at his friend's house after a few drinks I'll get a photo of my favourite dog.

Imaginary Kids

We're both young and neither of us are in our ideal job, apartment or even city. Maybe we'll have kids one day but it's not our plan.

Despite this, my mind will wander and I'll find myself thinking statistically they'd have his dark hair and my blue eyes- before him, even with other boyfriends, I'd always thought, if I have kids, I want them to miniature versions of me, now I think I'd want them to look like us.

The best bit? We can talk about the broody feelings even though we don't want to see them through.

Formula 1

When Charlie and I got together the 2010 F1 season was drawing to a close- this meant my weekends were suddenly going to be clear and Charlie spent a winter being lured into a false sense of security.

I've been obsessed F1 since Hamilton's rookie season when Dave, an English friend, decided to prove me wrong and show me that there is more to the sport than 'a bunch of fast cars doing laps'.

The <a href=""> rivalry</a>, the cheating, the sex scandles- on race weekend don't bother to try and coax me away from practice, qualifying or the grand Prix. Instead of spending 20 weekends a year a part, Charlie gave it a chance and while he will never dream of watching from the pits, he is sitting on the sofa next to me screaming at Vettel.

Walking in the Rain

After a night at his mum's house, Charlie and I got the train back home. As we reached the our station the first rain drops were beginning to fall.  On the walk back home we pass a covered market so we took our time and had some breakfast by the time we were leaving the rain was heavy and we linked arms and sought refuge under my tiny umbrella.  Getting completely soaked and using the umbrella as an excuse to cuddle closely, we decided to take the long way home.

Orange segments

I have childhood memories of being given orange segments as a child- huge, crudely cut wedges that at least a few kids would try to stuff in their mouth to create an orange skin grin. It was enough to put me off oranges for 10 years. I think Charlie may have had a similar experience as we both tended to avoid oranges until a few weeks ago.

After finding the sweetest, juiciest oranges one Sunday at an organic food fair I went hone and put together a simple fruit salad they way my parents had taught me. As Charlie had his first bite of a properly segmented orange he realised what he'd always hated about oranges- the pith. Today- miserable, cold and with a pounding headache I asked what would help: 'Painkillers and segmented orange'. It's amazing that a little effort and an everyday fruit can be a simple way to say 'I love you'.

Post

It's raining again today and I needed to collect my post from the depot which around 15 minutes away. In weather like this the prospect of walking for half an hour in the wind and rain isn't entralling, particularily when an umbrella won't stand up to the abuse the weather is dishing out. Coming home to find that Charlie had done it for me and that there was a neat pile of parcels on the coffee table for me to open was particularly wonderful (especially when he didn't need to go there for himself).

The hoodie off your back

Yesterday we had highs of 23oC, today we were not so lucky. I left for work and soon found myself ankle deep in a puddle. It's been the sort of day that suits hot chocolate with marshmallows, a feather duvet and a skylight to enjoy the sound of heavy rain. Unfortunately it was a day of wet feet, windswept hair and ruined umbrellas. What has helped? As soon as I got through the door having Charlie to take off my wet coat and replace it with the warm hoodie he was wearing before making me a cup of vanilla rooibos tea.

The sock drawer

As Charlies headed to work this morning he struggled to find a matching pair of socks.

"I wish all my socks were the same then I wouldn't need to worry about whether or not they're paired."

By the time he got home I'd emptied his sock drawer and refilled it with 20 pairs of new black socks. When he discovered this he was elated. It wasn't so much about the socks as it was about being listened to, a problem having been solved and a knowing that he is cared about.

A look, a touch and a smile

My dad has started dating someone- this the the first relationship he's had in almost 15 years. I met them both for coffee this morning in a cute little cafe a few street from my apartment. I managed to drop my phone in the sink and they were running late but I had no idea. After 10 minutes of waiting while savouring a peppermint tea (searved in a beautiful vintage silver teapot with a delicate cup and saucer) I had to take a second glance at a couple who had jut walked through the door. I didn't recognise my dad; he looked like a different person- same face, same hair, same rugby shirt I bought him last Christmas but something else was completely alien.

It wasn't until I'd almost finished my tea that I worked it out- love. As he looked at her, smiled and gently patted her hand you could see how deeply he cares for this woman. Whether it's meant to last a lifetime or a few months, I don't think it matters too much, the important thing to me is that you can still find love (even at 70) and the kind of love that is obvious from a simple smile.

Showing you're thinking of her when you are apart

Adele and I go out once a month for a meal and a few drinks- afternoon tea with blueberry tea, dinner with a Shiraz or lunch with Disaronno and cranberry. One evening we went out for dinner after work and the plan was somewhat sullied by a mess up with our reservation (apparently there is a restaurant with the same name in Wales and Adele inadvertently booked a table for us there). So with a spanner in the works and moral lower than usual we were both pleasantly surprised when a waiter came over and produced a bottle of my favourite wine that Charlie had ordered (and paid for) over the phone.

Keep her in flowers

Every few weeks I'll come home to a new bunch of flowers- tulips, roses, a bunch from a boutique florist around the corner or sometimes it'll just be a single flower. It doesn't matter the type and the studies confirm it. In 2010 research was carried out by Dr Nicolas Gueguen that found women are more attracted to men if there are in the presence of flowers. Buy a bunch or pick some yourself and it'll benefit you as much as her.